Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'm on a Blooooooog Roll to Hell!

Via Amba, I saw this bit of madness: an online quiz to determine which Circle of Hell one is likely to inhabit. Let's see how I did....

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Okay, let me analyze these results.

Purgatory (Repenting Non-believers) Score: Very low.

This is correct, as I am not at all the repenting type.

Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Score: Moderate

Also a correct assessment: I am a non-believer, and non-virtuous. Half-full of one, half-empty of the other.

Level 2 (Lustful) Score: Very High

Hey, I only went to that club for the Shakespeare! Well, that and the strippers....

Level 3 (Gluttonous) Score: High

Ah, my second favorite sin. How to avoid gluttony when we live in such an age? Even the non-wealthy can eat like kings these days, if not every day then as often as our incomes will allow. Yum, Mark's Las Olas.

Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Score: Low

I guess this is correct. After all, I'm not broke yet.

Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Score: Very High

Wrathful? Gloomy? Well, what the Hell did you expect?

Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Score: High

See Purgatory and Level 1 above.

Level 7 (Violent) Score: High

A guy with a name like Stab Master Icepick just may be violent, yes. Just maybe. But I could be worse, and that's why I didn't score a "Very High".

Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Score: Moderate

I'm not sure how I scored as highly as I did on this one. Must be because I used to work in consulting....

Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Score: Low

Should be "Very Low". Also, I hate cold weather, so this REALLY isn't the Circle for me!

Now let's see how the Missus did.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

This seems mostly correct, as my wife is moderate in most things. But I don't quite get the "High" score for Wrathful and Gloomy (must be commute-related anger) or the "Moderate" for Treacherous. Both of those seem too high. (And how the Hell can one be moderately treacherous anyway?)

So this is to be my fate:
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
That last sentence sounds more like an inducement than a warning!

And my wife will share the same fate, only not quite so much.

This concludes tonight's Hell-blogging. I hope you enjoyed it more than I did!

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