Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Wack-job Party

[Moved to the top. I published another post after this one, but I wanted this at the top. Check out "The Beauty of Procrastination" below.]

Last night while watching the news, my wife and I saw another story of local political idiocy. (Rambling account of that story here.) During that story I had an epiphany about American politics: We need a third party!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, everybody has that same dumb idea for a new centrist party. Well, that's the thing: I'm not advocating a new centrist party to bring America together, I'm advocating a new party to be composed entirely of America's political wack-jobs! If we could round up the crazies into one group, at least we would know whom to ignore, if nothing else.

I shared this with my wife, who pointed out what seemed to be a fatal flaw in my conception: Who would knowingly join such a party? But I had a ready answer for her: WE will decide who is in the new party. I creatively suggest calling this new force in American politics the Wack-job Party. (The Official Monster Raving Loony Party has already been taken, unfortunately. Anyway, that's a different concept, as those people have voluntarily joined that august organization.)

(Note: The spelling and hyphen came after discussion with my wife. Don't like it? The convince me that I'm wrong.)

I haven't completely figured this out yet, but I do have a few rules:

  1. Once a member of the Wack-job Party, always a member. After all, if you've completely flipped your lid once, how do we know you won't do so again in the future?
  2. Membership in another political party does not at all preclude one from being in the Wack-job Party.
  3. The Wack-job Party is apolitical. The purpose is to tag the political wackos of any political stripe, or even those of no political stripe.

I still haven't worked out who the WE that gets to elect membership to the party should be, however. It seems obvious that I should be part of the WE because it's my idea. However, I can't be the sole Selector, as that path is fraught with danger. A one man selection committee is subject to personal selection bias. So the Selectors should probably be composed of a group, with some sort of voting process to determine who gets elected to the party. Any ideas?

(Note: I don't include my wife because I doubt she would want to be involved in this idiocy.)

That said, I do have a few early entrants for the Wack-job Party.

  1. Democrat Dr. Bob Bowman , an advocate of George Bush and Karl Rove being behind the 9/11 attacks ("Really?!"), running for the US House of Representatives from Florida's 15th District. Congratulations, you've just joined the Inaugural Class of the Wack-job Party of America! (The link leads to a Frank J. interview of Dr. Bowman. And Frank J. knows wack-job politics when he sees it!)
  2. Republican Representative and US Senate Candidate from Florida Katherine Harris, for her exemplary work in making even conservative Christian Republicans want to vote for Democratic incumbent Bill Nelson!
  3. Local Republican (recently Democrat) State House Representative Sheri McInvale, for inspiring this idea in the first place by being an idiot!

Being an idiot shouldn't be enough to get one in the Wack-job Party (else our whole damned political class would become instant members), but Representative McInvale gets special consideration for being so inspirational.

So, who's got more suggestions on how to elect members to the party, or simply more suggestions for membership?

[Additional Note: If you know of someone already doing this, please let me know. There's no reason to divide our efforts.]


Zeno said...

I remember how clever I used to think the Monty Python guys were. How on earth could they come up with such insane stuff? Then I took a trip to London (in the 1980s) and found myself reading a sober newspaper account of a Parliamentary by-election. One of the candidates was Lord Sutch of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Suddenly I realized (to my disappointment) that Monty Python's Flying Circus was much closer to being a documentary than I had ever suspected. They could crib their material right from the pages of the staid British press. Woe!

Of course, it is still funny.

Icepick said...

But which came first, Monty Python's Flying Circus, or The Official Monster Raving Looney Party? Time for some research!

Icepick said...

Okay, Lord Sutch had been around for a while, but the OMRLP was established in the 1980s. So, credit to the Flying Circus for making England what it is today! How did people actually do research before the WWW?