Monday, February 05, 2007

Idiot Sports Reporters

Peter King is once again being an idiot in his Monday Morning Quarterback Column for SI.com.

First, let's address his lack of musical appreciation. He thought that Billy Joel did a good job singing the national anthem, and dismissed Prince's performance out of hand:

g. Great combo of anthem (Billy Joel) and flyover. The four fighter jets appeared to be about 20 yards over the top of the stadium. Amazing.

h. Prince, Schmince.
Joel, while a decent rock & roll performer, did a horrible job singing the anthem. I know it's a hard song to sing, but he was all over the place. And Prince simply kicked ass. I say that last bit as someone who isn't a hardcore Prince fan. But facts is facts, and the fact is that the Purple One kicked major ass.

But the title of this post refers to reporters, meaning that more than one is an idiot. I need look no farther than the rest of King's column. Later, King quotes another SI writer, Rick Reilly:
"You know what I call Prince?'' he said before halftime. "Not 'The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.' But 'The Artist Formerly Known.'''
Ha. Ha. I wonder who has the higher Q rating, Prince, Rick Reilly, or Peter King? (Aside for sports reporters only: That was a rhetorical question, with an obvious answer. To spell it out for you dunderheads, Prince has the higher Q rating.)

But this isn't the only example of stupidity in King's column. He also has this bit of brilliance:
Sorry, Miami. Your downtown is cold. Stay in one of those hotels on Biscayne Boulevard (the media hotel I was in was the Radisson) and you're told, "Probably not a great idea to walk too far from the hotel at night.'' What kind of downtown is it where you don't walk out of the hotel for a nice stroll? If you're not in South Beach, you're resigned to cabs in this town. Not a good way to live at the Super Bowl.
For those that don't know, King is from New Jersey. Try walking around in downtown Newark sometime, jackass, and see how long your fat ass lasts. Earlier he had this bit of Florida Bashing:
New York and L.A. take all kinds of guff for traffic. Deservedly, I might add. But here's a good one: In the middle of the day Friday, it took me 100 minutes, exactly, to drive 26 miles from downtown Miami to Davie, Fla., where the Colts were conducting practice at the Miami Dolphins training facility.

You start in downtown Miami on Biscayne Boulevard, which is basically a war zone of traffic cones and road construction. Then you get on I-95, which, from one week's appearance, is a constant catch-as-catch-can of traffic mayhem, with 90-mph idiots on your tail (and I mean really close, closer than Jersey). Then came a fender bender, and 35 minutes of crawling, and a quick stop for gas and coffee, and then a crawl along I-595 west outside of Fort Lauderdale, then a couple of 90-second stoplights on University Avenue in Davie. I mean, just a mess. When you invite everyone in the world into your state, Florida, it would be a nice idea to keep the infrastructure up.
You think that's a bad drive? Try driving between downtown Baltimore and downtown Washington DC sometime. It's a comparable distance, and it will take 2 and a half hours on a normal weekday. How about telling those cities to keep up their infrastructure, jerk?

Additionally, Florida has been hit by six hurricanes in the last two and a half years, not to mention the recent tornadic activity. Perhaps, just maybe, it's better to spend our money rebuilding from those disasters instead of trying to make your commute convenient. Of course, King has been in LOVE with what New Orleans has done football-wise this last season. Too bad NO didn't bother to rebuild their homes and other infrastructure instead of re-opening the SuperDome in time for the football season. But hey, they took care of making King's life convenient by fielding a decent football team and giving him cheap easy stories to write this year, and THAT'S what really counts!

No comments: