Friday, January 28, 2011

Lies, Damned Lies, and Shit We Simply Can't Believe

So I made the mistake of turning on CNBC this morning. I caught a bit with the absurdly named Steve Liesman "dissecting" the new GDP numbers. At the end of the bit he said this:

The recession, from every possible technical standpoint, is now, Larry, finally over.
Be sure to tell that, Liesman, to the 15 million people still out of work, the 2.5 to 3 million more who have dropped out* of the labor force entirely, the 10 million or so who have part time jobs who want full time jobs, and the tens of millions more who are making less than they were four years ago. (And a good many of those people are still fearing for their jobs because despite all the crap one hears, levels of business activity are still diminishing in many areas.)

Really, the level of bullshit being spouted by our leaders about the economy defies belief. Our good President can't even mention the word "unemployment" in the State of the Union address because the word doesn't test well in front of the focus groups. I wonder which set of leaders are lying to their nation more, those guys in the Middle East about to be overthrown or the assholes in NYC and Washington DC running this country?

* At least according to the BLS, whose numbers become more unbelievable with each release.

UPDATE: In the very next segment some analysts claim that we will see a growth of almost 2.8 million jobs this year. Un-fucking-real. That's almost 240,000 jobs added a month. At least Liesman states that he doesn't think unemployment is going to get better - he just thinks the unemployed people don't matter. ("The fate of the economy will be determined by the 90.6 percent of the population ... that is employed.") After all, as long as the "economy" is doing better he gets to keep his job. How did all these fuckers who did NOT see the recession coming get to keep their jobs and homes, and I, who DID see it coming, didn't get to keep either? There ain't no justice.

Time to stop watching the news....

Monday, January 10, 2011

Buy the dip.

Just to save myself seconds....


Sunday, January 09, 2011

Ted Williams and his hair

The feel good story of the week has been the discovery of the man with the God Given Gift of Voice, Ted Williams. As a homeless man he had an incredible explosion of hair.

Then he got cleaned up for his media appearances. I miss the wild man look. After thinking about it for a few hours it finally hit me where I had seen that hair before....

It's all about God's Gifts....

ADDED: It just occurred to me that Moses was a homeless man when his hair exploded. Huh.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

The Heatles?

So the other day Lebron James stated that the Miami Heat are now referring to themselves as The Heatles because they go on the road and sell-out wherever they go. I told my wife about this, and that I thought it was partly wrong because The Beatles stopped touring in 1966. My wife's response was classic:

More than that, The Beatles are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, so they're actually in Cleveland.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Listen up, Knuckleheads - Names matter!

The Orlando Sentinel has a story today about four local men trying to make good - by robbing banks. Unfortunately they got caught after robbing five* banks. (Apparently they don't know that the best way to rob a bank is to run one.)

Anyhow, one of the young gentlemen goes by the moniker Crime Tyme. You might think that he's kind of giving the game away with such a name. Perhaps, although he might be looking to break into professional wrestling instead.

Nevertheless, Crime Tyme is actually an improvement over the name his parents gave him: Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson**. Truly, with a name like that the best he could hope for in life is to be a run-of-the-mill knucklehead. Just remember

Sticks and stones
May break my bones,
But a stupid-assed name
Can ruin my life.
* Crime Tyme and his buddies tried to rob a sixth bank. From the Sentinel:
The suspects, ages 17 to 22, would have knocked over a sixth bank in Lake [County] on Nov. 18, if it had not been for another unexpected twist: Workers locked the doors of the bank as suspicious men headed in their direction.
I'm waiting for the PC Police to have that bank shut down and the workers fired for racial discrimination.

** Really, Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson's parents ought to be sent to prison if he's convicted.