Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Goddamned NFL and the Dirtiest Team in Football History

So I'm watching the New Orleans Saints at the Green Bay Packers. The officials have now blown four calls, all in New Orleans favor. One missed offensive pass interference, one missed personal foul, one missed defensive pass interference and they erroneously called an incomplete pass a completed pass even after reviewing the call. I'm wondering which of the officials has money on the Saints. Bring back the replacement refs!

And then in the worst play of the game one of the Saints defenders sticks his fingers into the eye-sockets of Aaron Rodgers and tries to rip them out of his head. That was the most blatant attempt to injure another player I've seen in years. And it DID knock Rodgers out of the game for a few critical plays, leading directly to a New Orleans touchdown.

That's seventeen points for the Saints off of blown calls and blatant cheating.

Let's not forget that New Orleans is the team whose head coach is suspended for a year and whose former defensive coordinator is suspended indefinitely because they got caught coaching their players to intentionally injure players on opposing teams. Clearly the coaches that are still there, as well as the players, are still the dirtiest team in the league and blatant cheaters. Close down the whole fucking franchise.

One last note, Rodgers, back in the game, just threw an interception. He'd been on fire prior to having that scumbag cheater from New Orleans try to rip his eyes out. He clearly shouldn't be in the game.

No doubt tomorrow the sycophants in the media will completely ignore the blatant cheating by New Orleans (hey, they ignored it before, until someone from outside the usual circle caught them red-handed on film), and not a peep will be said about the officiating.

Goddamn, sometimes I wonder why I still watch this league. It's gotten to be as unwatchable as the NBA.

ADDED: There were two more egregious calls later in the game, including a clear fumble on a kick-off. Again, those calls went the way of the Saints. However, justice was served when Green Bay held on for a one point victory. It appears (two days later) that Rodgers hasn't suffered any serious damage to his eyes.

As for my prediction, the media had to mention a couple of the blown calls (the offensive pass interference call and the blown fumble) but mostly tried to ignore the fiasco. I haven't seen any mention of the completely dirty nature of the play against Rodgers, or mention of the fact that the Saints were hitting Packers players in the head all day long.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Come on, fellas, you're losing your heads!

Time for some fun! First, one of the all time great spoofs, from Pinky and the Brain, "Yes, always!" This spoofs one of the all-time great episodes of celebrity pissyness, from the incomparable Orson Welles. The Pinky and the Brain spoof is a little bit better just because the audio is clearer. No one does Welles better than Welles, but the sound quality really makes the difference. (Maurice Lamarche (Brain) does a great Welles, though!)

 Speaking of celebrity meltdowns, another one of the all time great melt-downs comes to us from Paul Anka. Sample: "The guys get shirts! Don't make a FUCKIN' maniac out of me!"

I'll put my favorite line in the comments, so as not to spoil anyone's fun!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

We're in Parody Land Now.

We're in parody land now.

Michelle O says the greatest threat to American national security is fat people.

The Marines in Cairo are not allowed to carry live ammunition. Even Barney Fife got to carry one live round. (In his left breast pocket, if memory serves.) I guess the Marines are just supposed to say "Get off my lawn" to the camel-fucking pederast-worshiping nut-job wackos Er, Mohammedans followers of the "religion of peace". (Lest we forget that asshole appeasers of these turds include stupid fuckheads Presidents from both parties.)

An Israeli-Arab in the Knesset wants the UN to intervene against the US, or else there will be Armageddon. I guess the UN is supposed to invade us or something. Or maybe just double park more often in NYC. It's impossible to be certain.

WikiLeaks says this is all happening because the US is mean to albinos Julian Assange.

Meanwhile President Obama doesn't think the Egyptian regime is an ally. No shit, Sherlock! Apparently he forgot that he helped our enemies overthrow the allied government that had been in place.

Additionally, Hussein Soetero is continuing to plagiarize Jimmy Carter lines from 1980. Shooting from the hip? Like about a police incident in Cambridge that you know nothing about? Or a shooting in Central Florida?

The press thinks the greatest threat to liberty comes from magic underwear wearing Mormons, and not from towel-headed psychopaths who want mass slaughter at the drop of a hat. Seriously, all this over a YouTube clip that had zero viewers until two days ago? They couldn't even bother to get pissed off at something good that people had seen, like an episode of South Park?

The world is not a real place. It is a parody world being fed into my head by aliens/communists/Nazis/Skynet, or possibly by writers for cancelled Comedy Central television series.

...

Recently the Administration has looked more and more like some tin-pot Third World dictatorship in its desire to puff up the President in every way possible. The New York Times wrote a piece about Obama taking time out from being President to improve his BOWLING scores. They also talked about Obama's boasting that he reads children's books better than anyone else ever, and shoots a surprisingly good game of pool.

In the last few days it came out that the President skips the majority of his daily security briefings. Defending the President's laxity National Security Council spokesman Tommy Vietor wrote in an e-mail, “The President is among the most sophisticated consumers of intelligence on the planet.”Yeah, I'm sure he's just as sophisticated at "consuming" intelligence briefings as Vladimir Putin, who came up through the KGB. After all, Obama started getting intelligence briefings about four years ago. I'm sure in that time he has mastered everything at least as well as anyone else in the world.

Yes, Obama really is the best at everything he ever does!

But that's not all! Today the White House has come out with a statement to distance the President from statements made by ... the President!

In an interview with Telemundo Wednesday night, Obama said that the U.S. relationship with the new Egyptian government was a "work in progress," and emphasized that the United States is counting on the government of Egypt to better protect the U.S. Embassy in Cairo, which was attacked by protesters on Sept. 11.
"I don't think that we would consider them an ally, but we don't consider them an enemy," Obama said
 Today:
That comment had Egypt watchers scratching their heads, especially since technically, Egypt was designated as a Major Non-NATO Ally in 1989 when Congress first passed the law creating that status, which gives them special privileges in cooperating with the United States, especially in the security and technology arenas.

White House spokesman Tommy Vietor told The Cable Thursday that the administration is not signaling a change in that status.

"I think folks are reading way too much into this," Vietor said. "‘Ally' is a legal term of art. We don't have a mutual defense treaty with Egypt like we do with our NATO allies. But as the president has said, Egypt is longstanding and close partner of the United States, and we have built on that foundation by supporting Egypt's transition to democracy and working with the new government." 
Yeah, let's not read too much into the statements of the President of the United States of America on foreign policy. This President is even better at being a completely incoherent blithering idiot that anyone else in the world. And this is just more proof.

This is not reality. Reality cannot possibly be this stupid.

THERE ... ARE ... FOUR ... LIGHTS!

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Chairs

Last week Obama was mocked with one empty chair. Tomorrow night Obama will be mocked by 74,000 empty chairs.